LoL... Today last day of 2008 ... We actually got plan but... all spoiled :( ... In the afternoon we, i & tey & winnnie went to 1b to celebrate... We have actually plan that we'll countdown @ there. mana tau... tey last min tell us that he gt dinner at promenade. so we.... watch movie first then think bout it again... so we choose "the spirit"... OMF. the movie is so horrible. it is my worst movie i ever watched... so we decide to change cinema XD.. we actually are @ Hall 3, then we went to hall 5 Hahha.. shshhh... the movie there is "diary of death" ... haha... we sit there for mayb 10min then we go bak to our spirit. LoL... same bored ba... first time o we watch like that worst punya movie haha.
After movie we went bak to kk terus cause tey in a hurry, we sat teksi until cathay cinema cost HIM rm25 ... haha tey spend LoL... so we seperate lor. . . left me and winnnie, we walked to cp, then later on we separate again she went home haha...
At night, me and my family went to hyatt to eat the chinese steamboat buffet :D yummy.. gt crab prawn muscle .... wow i ate until burst :D hahah. lol...
benjamiN
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Last Joke for d month XD
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
“I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes” replies Watson.
“And what do you deduce from that?”
Watson ponders for a minute. “Well,
Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe.
But what does it tell you, Holmes?”
Holmes is silent for a moment.
“Watson, you idiot!” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!”
benjamiN
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
“I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes” replies Watson.
“And what do you deduce from that?”
Watson ponders for a minute. “Well,
Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe.
But what does it tell you, Holmes?”
Holmes is silent for a moment.
“Watson, you idiot!” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!”
benjamiN
5 mins joke LoL
Pn.Fung : History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about what had happened in the past.
Student : Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history.
Pn.Fung : Why?
Student : There is no future in it.
............ ......... ......... ................. ......... ......... .......... .
Teacher : Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have?
Ted : $10.
Teacher : You don't know maths.
Ted : You don't know my father!
............ .......... .......... ................. ......... ......... ......... ........
Mother : David, come here.
David : Yes, mum?
Mother : You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
David : But I will only get my report book tomorrow.
Mother : I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you now. ............ ......... ......... ......... .......... ................... ......... ........
Father : Why did you fail your mathematics test?
Son : On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8
Father : So?
Son : On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 , on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8. If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?
............ ......... ......... ................. ......... .......... .......... ........
A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence. The daughter turned to look at her father.
Daughter : It's mummy!
Father : How do you know?
Daughter : She didn't say anything.
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .......... .................
Girl : Do you love me?
Boy : Yes Dear
Girl : Would you die for me?
Boy : No, mine is undying love
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card.
------------ --------- --------- --------- ---
Teacher : Simon, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?
Simon : No, teacher, it's the same dog!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Father : Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son : That's why I say she's no good!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Teacher : "Where were u born?"
Student : "Singapore, Sir."
Teacher : "Which part?"
Student : "All of me, Sir."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
A teacher was asking her class: "What is the difference between 'unlawful' and 'illegal'?" Only one hand shot up. "Ok, answer, Joan" said the teacher. "'unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't allow and 'illegal' is a sick eagle."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
Teacher : "How come you do not comb your hair?"
Ah Kow : "No comb, Sir."
Teacher : "Use your dad's then."
Ah Kow : "No hair, Sir."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
A boy came home from school with his exam results. "What did u get?" asked his father. "My marks are under water," said the boy. "What do u mean 'under water'?" "They are all below 'C' (sea) level"
benjamiN
Student : Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history.
Pn.Fung : Why?
Student : There is no future in it.
............ ......... ......... ................. ......... ......... .......... .
Teacher : Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have?
Ted : $10.
Teacher : You don't know maths.
Ted : You don't know my father!
............ .......... .......... ................. ......... ......... ......... ........
Mother : David, come here.
David : Yes, mum?
Mother : You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
David : But I will only get my report book tomorrow.
Mother : I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you now. ............ ......... ......... ......... .......... ................... ......... ........
Father : Why did you fail your mathematics test?
Son : On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8
Father : So?
Son : On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 , on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8. If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?
............ ......... ......... ................. ......... .......... .......... ........
A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence. The daughter turned to look at her father.
Daughter : It's mummy!
Father : How do you know?
Daughter : She didn't say anything.
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .......... .................
Girl : Do you love me?
Boy : Yes Dear
Girl : Would you die for me?
Boy : No, mine is undying love
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card.
------------ --------- --------- --------- ---
Teacher : Simon, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?
Simon : No, teacher, it's the same dog!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Father : Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son : That's why I say she's no good!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Teacher : "Where were u born?"
Student : "Singapore, Sir."
Teacher : "Which part?"
Student : "All of me, Sir."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
A teacher was asking her class: "What is the difference between 'unlawful' and 'illegal'?" Only one hand shot up. "Ok, answer, Joan" said the teacher. "'unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't allow and 'illegal' is a sick eagle."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
Teacher : "How come you do not comb your hair?"
Ah Kow : "No comb, Sir."
Teacher : "Use your dad's then."
Ah Kow : "No hair, Sir."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
A boy came home from school with his exam results. "What did u get?" asked his father. "My marks are under water," said the boy. "What do u mean 'under water'?" "They are all below 'C' (sea) level"
benjamiN
How to write a letter to ur boss to increase ur salary :D
Dear Bo$$,
In thi$life, we all need$ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$of u$worker$who have given$o much$upport including $weat and$ervice to your company .I am$ure you will gue$$what I mean and re$pond$oon.
Your$$incerely,
The next day, you received this letter of reply :
Oh my dear:
I kNOw you have been working very hard.NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must haveNOticed that our company isNOt doingNOticeably well as yet .NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists areNOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After theNOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.I haveNOthing more to addNOw. You kNOw what I mean.
Yours truly,Manager
benjamiN
In thi$life, we all need$ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$of u$worker$who have given$o much$upport including $weat and$ervice to your company .I am$ure you will gue$$what I mean and re$pond$oon.
Your$$incerely,
The next day, you received this letter of reply :
Oh my dear:
I kNOw you have been working very hard.NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must haveNOticed that our company isNOt doingNOticeably well as yet .NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists areNOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After theNOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.I haveNOthing more to addNOw. You kNOw what I mean.
Yours truly,Manager
benjamiN
Titanic
One Chinese person walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph. Instead,
Spielberg gives him a slap and says"You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbor , get out of here."
The astonished Chinese man replied "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbor,
it was the Japanese"."Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied
Spielberg. In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says "You sank the Titanic,
my forefathers were on that ship." Shocked, Spielberg replies "It was the iceberg that sank the ship not me."The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."
benjamiN
Spielberg gives him a slap and says"You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbor , get out of here."
The astonished Chinese man replied "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbor,
it was the Japanese"."Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied
Spielberg. In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says "You sank the Titanic,
my forefathers were on that ship." Shocked, Spielberg replies "It was the iceberg that sank the ship not me."The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."
benjamiN
Ah Beng
> >> > Why did Ah Beng go to a movie with his 18 friends?> >> > Because below 18 not allowed Lah!
> >> > Ah Beng wants to buy a TV set. He goes to a shop.
Ah Beng : "Do you have color TV ?"Salesgirl : "Yes !" Ah Beng : "Give me a green one, please "
> >> > -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------> >> >>
>> > Ah Beng is filling up an application form for a job. He supplied the information for the columns on Name, Age, Address etc. Then he comes to column on "Salary Expected", but he is not sure of the question.After much thought, he writes " Yes "
>> > Ah Beng goes to a store and sees a shiny object. Ah Beng : "What is that shiny object ?" Salesgirl : "That is a thermos flask." Ah Beng : "What does it do ?" Salesgirl : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold" Ah Beng : "I'll buy it"> The next day, Ah Beng goes to work with his thermo flask. Boss : "What is that shiny object ?" Ah Beng : "It's a thermos flask." Boss : "What does it do ?" Ah Beng : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold" Boss : "What do you have in it !?" Ah Beng : "Two cups of coffee and one cup of ice cream"
>> > After taking photocopies of documents, Ah Beng always compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.
>> > Ah Beng always smiles during lightning storms because he thinks his picture is being taken.
>> > Why can't Ah Beng dial 911? Because he can't find the number 11 (eleven) on the phone.
>> > Ah Beng had just bought a new computer and was using it. When he encountered some problems. He decide to use the 'Help' command after some tries. Soon after, he became very irritated and called the computer retailer for support. Ah Beng : "I press the 'F1' key for help lah, but it's been over half an hour and still nobody come and help me Lah ?!"
>> > Ah Beng with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone ring, lah - but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear, lah" "Oh dear !" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But .. what happened to the other ear ?" Ah Beng answered : "That stupid dumbo called back, lah !!!!"
>> > Ah Beng talk to a long-distance telephone operator.> >> > Ah Beng: "COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME THE TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN Taipei AND LAS VEGAS ?" Operator: "JUST A MINUTE..." Ah Beng : "THANK YOU lah" AND PUTS DOWN THE PHONE.
>> > After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite some time, Ah Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend. "It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT", Ah Beng brags. "FIVE MONTHS ? THAT'S TOO LONG", the friend exclaims. "YOU ARE A FOOL." Ah Beng replies, "SEE THIS BOX, IT IS WRITTEN FOR 4-7 YRS".
>> > At a bar in New York, the man to Ah Beng's left tells the bartender, "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE" and his companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE". The bartender approaches Ah Beng and asks, "AND YOU, SIR ?" Ah Beng replies : "Tan Ah Beng, MARRIED lah"
The Ah Beng talk like Mr jacob. to me LAH. hahah
benjamiN
> >> > Ah Beng wants to buy a TV set. He goes to a shop.
Ah Beng : "Do you have color TV ?"Salesgirl : "Yes !" Ah Beng : "Give me a green one, please "
> >> > -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------> >> >>
>> > Ah Beng is filling up an application form for a job. He supplied the information for the columns on Name, Age, Address etc. Then he comes to column on "Salary Expected", but he is not sure of the question.After much thought, he writes " Yes "
>> > Ah Beng goes to a store and sees a shiny object. Ah Beng : "What is that shiny object ?" Salesgirl : "That is a thermos flask." Ah Beng : "What does it do ?" Salesgirl : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold" Ah Beng : "I'll buy it"> The next day, Ah Beng goes to work with his thermo flask. Boss : "What is that shiny object ?" Ah Beng : "It's a thermos flask." Boss : "What does it do ?" Ah Beng : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold" Boss : "What do you have in it !?" Ah Beng : "Two cups of coffee and one cup of ice cream"
>> > After taking photocopies of documents, Ah Beng always compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.
>> > Ah Beng always smiles during lightning storms because he thinks his picture is being taken.
>> > Why can't Ah Beng dial 911? Because he can't find the number 11 (eleven) on the phone.
>> > Ah Beng had just bought a new computer and was using it. When he encountered some problems. He decide to use the 'Help' command after some tries. Soon after, he became very irritated and called the computer retailer for support. Ah Beng : "I press the 'F1' key for help lah, but it's been over half an hour and still nobody come and help me Lah ?!"
>> > Ah Beng with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone ring, lah - but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear, lah" "Oh dear !" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But .. what happened to the other ear ?" Ah Beng answered : "That stupid dumbo called back, lah !!!!"
>> > Ah Beng talk to a long-distance telephone operator.> >> > Ah Beng: "COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME THE TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN Taipei AND LAS VEGAS ?" Operator: "JUST A MINUTE..." Ah Beng : "THANK YOU lah" AND PUTS DOWN THE PHONE.
>> > After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite some time, Ah Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend. "It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT", Ah Beng brags. "FIVE MONTHS ? THAT'S TOO LONG", the friend exclaims. "YOU ARE A FOOL." Ah Beng replies, "SEE THIS BOX, IT IS WRITTEN FOR 4-7 YRS".
>> > At a bar in New York, the man to Ah Beng's left tells the bartender, "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE" and his companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE". The bartender approaches Ah Beng and asks, "AND YOU, SIR ?" Ah Beng replies : "Tan Ah Beng, MARRIED lah"
The Ah Beng talk like Mr jacob. to me LAH. hahah
benjamiN
Chips. Yummy :D
'Cancer chemical' in Pringles 05/12/2007 09:07 -
(SA) Hong Kong - Packets of the popular snack Pringles were on Wednesday removed from Hong Kong supermarkets after tests in mainland China found them to contain a cancer-causing chemical. Barbecue-flavoured packets of the potato crisps were taken off sale in Wellcome, one of the city's leading supermarket chains, after potassium bromate was discovered in samples in China . Potassium bromate is a preservative allowed in limited quantities in the US but banned in China , Hong Kong and other countries because tests have found it to be carcinogenic. The tests that discovered the ingredient were reportedly carried out in China in July when officials in the port of Zhuhai found the ingredient in imported Pringles. However, the South China Morning Post reported on Wednesday that the snack's manufacturer Procter & Gamble indicated that the tested batch had been unofficially imported from the US . Pringles sold in China and Hong Kong are made in mainland China and contain no potassium bromate, according to Procter & Gamble. Hong Kong 's Food and Environmental Hygiene Department was on Wednesday investigating the case and is expected to contact US authorities for more information. - Sapa-dpa - SAPA
benjamiN
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Zhi Yang 16th :D
Yang's with pinklady
Went to dream food to eat. He belanja. yummm
Ate japanese food as to celebrate:D Rm168.55
o.O
Lift door are about to open LoL.
And opened :D
Nothing much happen that day haha. we actually wanted to watch movie. but end up no bcs no movie. so we went to dream food(japanese restaurant). to celebrate. Then we walk around warisan and centre point to find his "dream" present " . Yupz, a day is end like that :D we end up bought a pair of converse shoe :D RM125.90 . .. 4 of us kap, carissa&faith&Mirabelle&Me. *broke* haha... cya. :D
benjamiN
benjamiN
Randummm
Money 錢
↓
It can buy a House 可以用來買房子
But not a Home 但是不能買一個家
It can buy a Bed 可以用來買床
But not Sleep 但是不能買睡眠
It can buy a Clock 可以用來買時鐘
But not Time 但是不能買時間
It can buy you a Book 可以用來買書
But not Knowledge 但是不能買到知識
It can buy you a Position 可以用來買職位
But not Respect 但是不能買到尊敬
It can buy you Medicine 可以用來買藥
But not Health 但是不能買到健康
It can buy you Blood 可以用來買血
But not Life 但是不能買回生命
It can buy you Sex 可以用來買性行為
But not Love 但是不能買到真愛
So you see money isn't everything. 所以金錢不是萬能的
I tell you all this because I am your Friend, 我之所以告訴你這些道理,是因為我是你真正的朋友
and as your Friend I want to take away your pain and suffering..... 而身為你的朋友,我想要消除你的痛苦 免除你所受的折磨
so send me all your money and I will suffer for you 所以把你的錢都寄來吧!我決定替你承受 這一切痛苦......
A true Friend than me you will never find. 你再也不會找到任何一個比我更真心的朋友了
SO CASH ONLY PLEASE 我只收現金，謝謝!
benjamiN
↓
It can buy a House 可以用來買房子
But not a Home 但是不能買一個家
It can buy a Bed 可以用來買床
But not Sleep 但是不能買睡眠
It can buy a Clock 可以用來買時鐘
But not Time 但是不能買時間
It can buy you a Book 可以用來買書
But not Knowledge 但是不能買到知識
It can buy you a Position 可以用來買職位
But not Respect 但是不能買到尊敬
It can buy you Medicine 可以用來買藥
But not Health 但是不能買到健康
It can buy you Blood 可以用來買血
But not Life 但是不能買回生命
It can buy you Sex 可以用來買性行為
But not Love 但是不能買到真愛
So you see money isn't everything. 所以金錢不是萬能的
I tell you all this because I am your Friend, 我之所以告訴你這些道理,是因為我是你真正的朋友
and as your Friend I want to take away your pain and suffering..... 而身為你的朋友,我想要消除你的痛苦 免除你所受的折磨
so send me all your money and I will suffer for you 所以把你的錢都寄來吧!我決定替你承受 這一切痛苦......
A true Friend than me you will never find. 你再也不會找到任何一個比我更真心的朋友了
SO CASH ONLY PLEASE 我只收現金，謝謝!
benjamiN
More Jokes. But in Chinese . ^^
Translate to a bahasa pasar. Hope u dont mind :S
保險套對衛生棉說： 我很怕你開工 ,你一開工我就七天沒生意做 衛生棉對避孕套說: 我更怕你開工, !
一不小心 ,我就九個月沒生意做了!
A condom say to a "kotex" : I scare when u are working, when u start to work i cant do my buisness in 7 days.
A "kotex" talk to "anti-baby ubat" : I lagi scare u start working, if not, i wont have buisness in 9 months.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?
粽子愛上包子,兩人去開房間 包子去洗澡時,粽子趕快脫掉衣服戴上保險套,
包子出來看不見粽子, 便問:喂!糯米腸,你有看見我家的粽子嗎?
X
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?~~~~~~~~~~
一女子因胸小而嫁不出去,一次相親時問男方,
你嫌棄我胸小嗎? 男人問:有饅頭大嗎? 女說 : 有 成親之夜,男人衝出,跪地仰天長呼,
天啊!旺仔小饅頭!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ??
茶壺深愛著茶葉,表達愛意時卻遭到拒絕. 茶壺大吼:為什麼?這一切都是為什麼? 茶葉膽怯地說:「我媽說了,成天灌水的都不是好人.」
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ??
三個吸血鬼到酒bar 一個點了 濃血 一個點了 淡血 最後一個只點了 白開水 前面兩個問他為什麼? 他拿出衛生棉說: 我有帶茶包!!!
3 vampire went to a bar, the first one ordered 1 cup of "light" blood. second one ordered 1 cup of"pekat" blood, then the last one ordered 1 cup of plain water, because he got bring one "kotex" as a tea bag. ><
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~?
師: "成績單有沒給父母看?" Eric: " 有." 師: "那為什麼家長沒有簽章?" Eric 捲起袖子露出傷 痕纍纍的手臂: "簽在這裡."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?
正在上基本教練時有一個大頭兵突然尿急,
所以就跑過去向班長說 : " 報告班長, 我想上一號." 班長若無其事地大喊一聲: "一號過來 , 有人想上你!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ??
期末考完後, 一位漂亮的女生走進了教授辦公室. 富有磁性的嗓音說: "老師, 我今天考得不好... 如果你給我及格我願為 你做任 何事情.." 教授眼睛一亮: "妳願為我做任何事情?" 她媚態萬千 地說著: "是的! 只要你要求, 我一定答應." 教授很興奮地叫 道:"那麼! 給我用功讀書!!"
After exam, a pretty girl walk in to the staff room and use a "sexy" tone talk to the teacher : " teacher, today my performance in exam very poor... If u can give me pass, i'll do what ever u wan...." Then the teachers very semangat :" U really wad oso so?" She reply:" Yes, Whatever u wan i'll do it for u." So the teacher very "high" and Talk out loud : "STUDY HARD THEN" . . . LoL... teacher a.k.a lectures
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~??
幾個七, 八歲的小男孩決定湊錢買玩具. 七湊八湊之下湊了四百圓台幣. "四百圓可以買什麼呢?" 其中一位問道.. "我想我們可 以去買衛生棉." 另一個回答. "衛生棉有什麼好?" 大夥兒一齊 問他. "我也不太清楚 不過電視上說有了它, 就可以爬山, 滑水, 打球, 溜冰,自由快樂沒煩惱."
Few young child around 7-8 years olds wan to kap money to buy toys... after that they only manage to get 400 taiwan money=Rm0.4 i think."only 400 bucks what can we buy?"one of them reply say: " Buy "kotex". another ask:"why buy kotex?"... Reply say ; I oso nt clear but tv shows that after we got kotex we can go climb mountain, do any activities without any Ma fan. :D
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~??
一 對時常吵架的夫妻，有一天又爭吵不休！ 於是先生很生氣的對 太太說： 以後妳死了我一定在妳墓碑上這麼寫著『這裡躺著一 個冰冷的女人。』 太太聽了不慌不忙的說： 是嗎？那麼你 以後死了，我就在你墓碑上刻著『這個男人終於硬了。』
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
某 太太在生了女孩後，不停 地求註生娘娘，希望下一胎是男孩， 結果她下一仍是女孩。 這太太不死心，仍繼續去祈求下一胎生 男孩，結果仍然生了女孩。 這太太仍不絕望，仍然繼續去求， 結果下一胎仍然是．．． 最 後這 太太受不了了：「我決定 了．．． , 我要換一間廟！」 結果這次她終於如願生了男 孩。 她的親朋好友問她：「到底是哪間的註生娘娘廟那麼靈讓 您生了男孩？」
答：「誰說我這次拜的是註生娘娘？我這次拜 的是包公！」
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
如果有100個停車位...... 給美國人停可 以停80輛 ; 因為美國人的車大 給德國人停可以停 100輛剛好 因為德國人最守紀律 給日本人停可以停120輛 因為日本車小 如果給台灣人停只可以停2輛 因為兩個出口各一輛
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
一位病重的老人即將死去。
醫生認為已經不需要再隱瞞他的病情了，
便在巡房後來到老人的病床旁。
「你的病已經很嚴重了。」醫生告訴他。
「我相信你必然想知道事實，現在你還想見什麼人嗎？」
虛弱的老人點了點頭說：「是的！」
他用幾乎聽不見的聲音說：「我想看另一位醫生。」
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
一位婦人抱著BABY到一間婦產科。
醫生問婦人說：BABY是吃母乳還是牛奶啊？
婦人：吃母乳！
醫生：那請你把衣服脫下來。
婦人：啊！？為什麼？
醫生：請你不用緊張，這裡是婦產科，絕不會對你有任何侵犯的。
婦人半信半疑的脫去了上衣，醫生用他的手在婦人的胸部上摸摸，
下摸摸，左搓搓，右揉揉。
對這婦人說：難怪BABY會營養不良，妳根本就沒有母乳嘛！
婦人：廢話！我當然沒有母乳；我是他阿姨！
benjamiN
保險套對衛生棉說： 我很怕你開工 ,你一開工我就七天沒生意做 衛生棉對避孕套說: 我更怕你開工, !
一不小心 ,我就九個月沒生意做了!
A condom say to a "kotex" : I scare when u are working, when u start to work i cant do my buisness in 7 days.
A "kotex" talk to "anti-baby ubat" : I lagi scare u start working, if not, i wont have buisness in 9 months.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?
粽子愛上包子,兩人去開房間 包子去洗澡時,粽子趕快脫掉衣服戴上保險套,
包子出來看不見粽子, 便問:喂!糯米腸,你有看見我家的粽子嗎?
X
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?~~~~~~~~~~
一女子因胸小而嫁不出去,一次相親時問男方,
你嫌棄我胸小嗎? 男人問:有饅頭大嗎? 女說 : 有 成親之夜,男人衝出,跪地仰天長呼,
天啊!旺仔小饅頭!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ??
茶壺深愛著茶葉,表達愛意時卻遭到拒絕. 茶壺大吼:為什麼?這一切都是為什麼? 茶葉膽怯地說:「我媽說了,成天灌水的都不是好人.」
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ??
三個吸血鬼到酒bar 一個點了 濃血 一個點了 淡血 最後一個只點了 白開水 前面兩個問他為什麼? 他拿出衛生棉說: 我有帶茶包!!!
3 vampire went to a bar, the first one ordered 1 cup of "light" blood. second one ordered 1 cup of"pekat" blood, then the last one ordered 1 cup of plain water, because he got bring one "kotex" as a tea bag. ><
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~?
師: "成績單有沒給父母看?" Eric: " 有." 師: "那為什麼家長沒有簽章?" Eric 捲起袖子露出傷 痕纍纍的手臂: "簽在這裡."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?
正在上基本教練時有一個大頭兵突然尿急,
所以就跑過去向班長說 : " 報告班長, 我想上一號." 班長若無其事地大喊一聲: "一號過來 , 有人想上你!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ??
期末考完後, 一位漂亮的女生走進了教授辦公室. 富有磁性的嗓音說: "老師, 我今天考得不好... 如果你給我及格我願為 你做任 何事情.." 教授眼睛一亮: "妳願為我做任何事情?" 她媚態萬千 地說著: "是的! 只要你要求, 我一定答應." 教授很興奮地叫 道:"那麼! 給我用功讀書!!"
After exam, a pretty girl walk in to the staff room and use a "sexy" tone talk to the teacher : " teacher, today my performance in exam very poor... If u can give me pass, i'll do what ever u wan...." Then the teachers very semangat :" U really wad oso so?" She reply:" Yes, Whatever u wan i'll do it for u." So the teacher very "high" and Talk out loud : "STUDY HARD THEN" . . . LoL... teacher a.k.a lectures
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~??
幾個七, 八歲的小男孩決定湊錢買玩具. 七湊八湊之下湊了四百圓台幣. "四百圓可以買什麼呢?" 其中一位問道.. "我想我們可 以去買衛生棉." 另一個回答. "衛生棉有什麼好?" 大夥兒一齊 問他. "我也不太清楚 不過電視上說有了它, 就可以爬山, 滑水, 打球, 溜冰,自由快樂沒煩惱."
Few young child around 7-8 years olds wan to kap money to buy toys... after that they only manage to get 400 taiwan money=Rm0.4 i think."only 400 bucks what can we buy?"one of them reply say: " Buy "kotex". another ask:"why buy kotex?"... Reply say ; I oso nt clear but tv shows that after we got kotex we can go climb mountain, do any activities without any Ma fan. :D
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~??
一 對時常吵架的夫妻，有一天又爭吵不休！ 於是先生很生氣的對 太太說： 以後妳死了我一定在妳墓碑上這麼寫著『這裡躺著一 個冰冷的女人。』 太太聽了不慌不忙的說： 是嗎？那麼你 以後死了，我就在你墓碑上刻著『這個男人終於硬了。』
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
某 太太在生了女孩後，不停 地求註生娘娘，希望下一胎是男孩， 結果她下一仍是女孩。 這太太不死心，仍繼續去祈求下一胎生 男孩，結果仍然生了女孩。 這太太仍不絕望，仍然繼續去求， 結果下一胎仍然是．．． 最 後這 太太受不了了：「我決定 了．．． , 我要換一間廟！」 結果這次她終於如願生了男 孩。 她的親朋好友問她：「到底是哪間的註生娘娘廟那麼靈讓 您生了男孩？」
答：「誰說我這次拜的是註生娘娘？我這次拜 的是包公！」
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
如果有100個停車位...... 給美國人停可 以停80輛 ; 因為美國人的車大 給德國人停可以停 100輛剛好 因為德國人最守紀律 給日本人停可以停120輛 因為日本車小 如果給台灣人停只可以停2輛 因為兩個出口各一輛
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
一位病重的老人即將死去。
醫生認為已經不需要再隱瞞他的病情了，
便在巡房後來到老人的病床旁。
「你的病已經很嚴重了。」醫生告訴他。
「我相信你必然想知道事實，現在你還想見什麼人嗎？」
虛弱的老人點了點頭說：「是的！」
他用幾乎聽不見的聲音說：「我想看另一位醫生。」
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
一位婦人抱著BABY到一間婦產科。
醫生問婦人說：BABY是吃母乳還是牛奶啊？
婦人：吃母乳！
醫生：那請你把衣服脫下來。
婦人：啊！？為什麼？
醫生：請你不用緊張，這裡是婦產科，絕不會對你有任何侵犯的。
婦人半信半疑的脫去了上衣，醫生用他的手在婦人的胸部上摸摸，
下摸摸，左搓搓，右揉揉。
對這婦人說：難怪BABY會營養不良，妳根本就沒有母乳嘛！
婦人：廢話！我當然沒有母乳；我是他阿姨！
benjamiN
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